Re: friday humor

[Theuns Smuts <theuns@LDP.CO.ZA>]

These are actual letters sent by council building dwellers
  (JOHANNESBURG):

  I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and
 burnt my knob off.

 I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when
 he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

 Their 18 year old son is continuously banging his balls  against
 my fence.

  I wish to report that tiles are missing from the roof of the
 outside toilet and I think it was bad wind the other night that
 blew them off.

  The lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

  I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the
 wall. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path?
 My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is
 pregnant.

  I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

 Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my  wife
 is about to become an expectant mother?

  I am still having trouble with smoke in my built-in drawers.

  The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it
 is cleared.

 Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a  funny
 color and not fit to drink.

  Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now it is in three
 pieces

 Would you please send a man to repair my sprout? I am an old age
 pensioner and need it straight away.

 I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every
 morning at am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much.

 The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which
 is unsightly and dangerous.

  Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like
 a  third so will you please send someone around to do something
 about it.

 I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be
 pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the
 man I  have on top of me every night.

 Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy
 the wife.

 I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times,
 but still have no satisfaction.

 We are getting married in September and would like it in the
 garden before we move into the house.

 This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and  we
 can't get SABC2.


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